a musing from the middle

diving back in

I started this Substack as a place to journal in public, to metabolize my thoughts and feelings. It’s been a wonderful outlet, and I’ve really loved connecting with a few of you over ideas with shared resonance.

My intention was, is, consistency. I love writing and researching and going down windy rabbit holes. But I’ve started to become crippled by intrusive thoughts of:

……but what is it EXACTLY that you’re writing about?

I am interested in many, many things. I like thinking about the etymology of words, nudibranchs, the science of women’s longevity, indigenous cultural traditions around food, design, fashion. I often think about the moment when a seemingly ordinary thing becomes “culture.” I will talk to anyone (with their consent, sigh) about surfing and wiping out and the ocean being our greatest teacher. Last Saturday I assigned myself the highly important, mission critical task of finding the perfect peach.

I like many things. I am many things. And I’m struggling to fit myself into one box.

(as narrated by my inner monologue):

“if I can’t put myself in a box, people won’t know what to expect from me and my writing, so ultimately: will people even care? Am I writing into a void? (which I’ve done before!)”

I had to remind myself today that I’m actually writing for me. These are my musings. So void or not, if I enjoy the process, I should keep doing it.

This is a musing from the middle. No moral, no neat story. I consider this a public accountability test to simply muse more.

If you’ve made it this far: I’m curious, do you struggle with the act of creating for someone vs. creating for yourself in public? Does the question of whether someone will find it interesting or relevant or useful ever stop you from musing out loud?

A few things I loved this month:

• ~Stomato Season: in my search for the perfect peach, I discovered there’s a narrow window each summer where stone fruit season overlaps with tomato season (a la stomato season, creative, I know) and I’m on a quest to make the perfect stone-fruit-tomato-burrata salad.

• I know I’m not supposed to, something about oxidation blah blah, but henceforth I shall be drinking all my summer wine out of shells in the sun.

  

  

• I managed a SINGLE cross-step before falling off the front of my board (which would you believe it, is success!!) on my retreat with Kai Sallas in Hawaii and here are the receipts.

• I’ve been going deep on the clinical and consumer studies we’ve done at Rootless (four of them now!!!) and falling back in love with what seaweed can actually do. Our scientific advisor, Dr. Christine Skibola, taught me about natural killer cells, your body’s first line of defense against tumors and other abnormalities. Fucoidan, a bioactive compound in brown seaweed, has been shown in the lab to activate natural killer cell activity. So eating seaweed, minimally processed, may help fight, delay, or even stave off certain forms of cancer.

Next up: I left my heart in Hawaii and found a word to describe it.

Happy joyous, glorious, sweaty summer my fronds.